Behind this Smile

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I have too many things on my mind.
I woke up everyday to struggle living.
I am in between of happiness and despair.
I want everything happened based on what I already planned.
But things always happen randomly.
All I ever learnt was, planning was some kind of wishes and it tend to make me disappointed.

I guess people will see me as an easy going, happy go lucky girl. But nobody really understand what exactly inside my mind.

I don't really have anybody to share everything. I tend to keep it myself.  Because I am afraid of people's opinion. I am afraid of objection.

I hate knowing the fact that I will be facing tomorrow, that tend to be so mysterious and don't even want to give me any hint on how to survive.

I am so despair.
I need time to recover.

Behind every smile I show, I already shed many tears I wouldn't show.

Diana.