Things are not meant to be hide forever. If you have something to achieve, try to achieve it sincerely. I've too many lesson to be learnt in just a few days. I am lack of sleeping because I think too much. I stopped talking with my family because I am afraid they will ask about me.
I am afraid of what will happened to me in the future. I have too many dreams to achieve. But with my current life-style, I don't even knew how to start.
I wanted to have a normal life. When I was young, I always imagining myself having a good career. Becoming the best I can be. I am a good student during campus life. I never failed to get good results in any exam. I might be blessed to be clever. I find job almost easily because of God's bless and maybe also due to strong educational background I get when I was younger..
I grew up believing in God's Will and God's Wrath. I am always afraid of karma. I avoid sin most of the time even with the fact I am not a religious person. I just believe in doing good deeds. To other, to myself and also to my family.
However, nobody is perfect. And so do I. *sighed
I almost lost my dream to have a grand wedding, attend by my relatives and friends. Marrying to a right man which is belong to me 100% and can accept me for what and who I am. In which, I shall devoted 100% of myself also for him, during the good and hard times (as mention in the bible). Having a comfortable house, cute babies... and grow old together.
I still hope I can have it. Maybe I just need time to reminisce back myself and get back to the track.
Oh dear God... I am praying for my heart salvation.
Slowly but surely, I will get back on my track. I just need time and the right person to bring myself to where I shall belong to.
Don't tell me it's hard to move on.
Somebody told me, If I sincerely have the will and courage to move on, God will make a way for me.
Still counting the day to start the day where I can be happier than today,
God bless.
Diana
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