The myths of Purity

“For women especially, virginity has become the easy answer- the morality quick fix. You can be vapid, stupid, and unethical, but so long as you've never had sex, you're a "good" (i.e. "moral) girl and therefore worthy of praise.” ― Jessica Valenti, 

“While boys are taught that the things that make them men--good men--are universally accepted ethical ideals, women are led to believe that our moral compass lies somewhere between our legs. Literally.” 
― Jessica Valenti, 

I have been thinking about this since I don't know when, but I'm sure that was when my brain started to function correctly.

I called it double standard. In which, people made funny meme, telling the world that when a guy fucked with many girls, that doesn't make him a slut but a 'master-key' who can opened as many keys(women) that he loves. But when it comes to women sleeping with many guys, she was officially a slut. A bitch. A hooker. Whatever you may call her.

I still remember a few months back, when I had the chance to hang out with a friend from Vietnam, who spent his life mostly living in USA. I can say that I am actually like  the way he explaining things and his perception about things. I still remember the times he asked me if I already have boyfriend or not. And then he asked me if I was a virgin or not, because he said, I have a great figure in which, usually owned by woman who's having great sex life.

"I am 24 years old and I never slept with anybody. I am not a bad girl," I told him. And then he looked at me astonished. "Do you said, having sex is bad? making you a bad girl?"

That was the day I started to open my mind for things I never wanted to accept. I was raised within a culture in which, teaching me that as a woman, we shall be 'pure' till the day of our marriage. That was the biggest sin to lose virginity If I am not marry yet. I will be worthless and lost my dignity. I will be labelled as a Bitch, and my parent will never be proud of me. Nobody will marry me if I am not a virgin anymore. That's it. These advices haunting us for years.

I used to ask my parent, "Why man don't want to marry me if I am no longer pure?" then they replied," Because having sex before marriage is a sin and only slut doing that. You are not a slut," "How if I get marry with someone who already not pure? I am marrying a man-slut then?" Unfortunately, the term and condition was only applicable to women. Not men.

That was the day I understand that, I can be clever, pretty, asshole, dumb and so on, as long as I am still a virgin, I can be proud of myself. Women's morality will be judged based on the word "virgin or not". I can say that I am a bit disagree with it, but what can I do?

The easiest way to make myself less valuable is to have sex. Don't mind about my past achievements. My greatest things that I already did for others. As long I am not a virgin before getting marry, I am no longer valuable. Easy as that.

"You will never be happy in your life, If you commit sex before marriage" that was the ultimate curse I ever heard. Whatever then.
I thought God will forgive people's sin.
What is the purpose of praying and asking for a good life when in the end, sex will make your whole life miserable.

I thought that going to garage won't make you a car, Going to church won't make you a saint. And having sex won't make you a slut.