The Impossible wish

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't?
Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't?
You fall deeper with each passing day,
But try to hide it in every possible way.
He's only a friend, and nothing else--That's the lie you keeping telling yourself.
You keep on saying he's just a bud,But deep inside, you're falling in love.
You get so giddy when you meet his eyes,But keep reminding yourself it isn't right.
A simple glance turns into a stare,But you pretend that you don't care.It's "not right" for you two to be.Is that why you hide it so no one can see?But how long will you pretend?Keep lying that he's just a friend?
Perhaps your feelings you can never show.
Perhaps it's "wrong" for him to know.Your friendship can't be risked over this,So being his girl is an impossible wish...

A dear Diana letter

Sometimes, you think, the hardest part for you is to choose, either to give up or to try harder.

You think you were screwed sometimes. Too much pressure and burden to handle within a short time.

Sometimes you think you cannot handle this. You cannot handle that. And then You think back, why you always downgrading yourself, when someone, trusting you that you can handle it. Trusting your ability. If they didn't trust you, Why they gave you the task at the first place?

When things get harder,
You just wish that you can keep on being strong. Think about the hardest thing that you used to handle, but in the end you still manage to finish it.

When things get harder,
Maybe you just need to give up. Maybe. Just maybe. Or perhaps, you should try harder. Double the efforts.
Trusting your own ability.

Remember,
Life is not easy. Especially when you are stupid. Once you started to learn on how to give up, forever you will never learnt on how to try hard to achieve something. People trust on you. Therefore, You should trust yourself then.

Look at yourself.
Look at the people that love you. You won't disappoint them, don't you?
Try.
Pray.
Learn.

The moment you start to give up, is always the moment,when miracle start to happen.

Good luck on learning the real meaning of being a human.

Regards,
Yourself

Just So You Know

Being matured is the state when I start to ignore what people said and complaint about me.

Start to think less about their judgmental mind. 

Start to be happy as I started to focus on what I love instead of focus on what people said.

I do what I like. As long as I didn't cause any harm toward others,

I hope they will stop bothering me. 

I had been surrounded by many people. But I only open my eyes and heart towards the people who can accept me for what I am. The others are just some noisy background I knew I should Ignore.

Continue Living Miss D,

There are many things will happen in the future, some chances to alert,

than thinking too much on people's idea about you.

Regards,

Diana Erika Phillip

"The Mean Society"

" Don't tell me that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty, because in this society, it isn't. No one gives you the chance to show them your inner beauty if you aren't beautiful on the outside"

This post is not about complaining. This is about expressing the feeling toward the 'mean society' that darken some people's life for so many many years, and for sure, I am one of the pitiful living things. 

Once upon a time, I live in my own fairy tale where I can be whatever I want and no matter how do I look, people will always appreciating my existence, my self. But then, time passing by when I grew up to become a typical teen, that was the time when I realize, you should have the 'look' I mean a wonderful look if you want the society to accept you. My teen life is not as wonderful as I wish I can have during my childhood, due to my imperfections. Nobody interested to know you, how good you are, how beautiful your inner self... when you don't have a perfect appearance. When you don't have a beautiful face.

I've spent my teen life wishing that I was someone else. Spending the years struggling to survive within this mean society. Spending my teen life to fight to get back my self-esteem due to overly being humiliated by the mean society. For real,my self esteem had reached its expired date, since long long time ago. 

Being an adult is when I realized, I shouldn't blame myself for every imperfections that I had. And not blaming God for not showing His guidance towards the hard years I had. I don't blame some people who stop having faith, because I knew exactly how does it feel to become pitiful and everybody hates you and losing your confident. But trust me, life might getting better if you are strong and keep holding on with your faith with Him,that one day you'll be better.

They are the Mean Society who spent their life judging on other's imperfections. Then I made my mind to let them be. Those who are in my team, ( I mean the pity people who being humiliated for our imperfection) carry on living. Remember, not everybody can accept us for who and what we are. It was a lie, If I said I don't want to be pretty. But we were created for purpose ( That was what I had been told by someone before this). Someday somehow, someone will love you just the way you are. Beauty is on the eye of the beholder. If he didn't see you beautiful, then he is surely a fcuking wrong guy. :D

Just love yourself. If you think nobody loves you, think about me, I love you. 

Regards,

Diana Erika Phillip

Hello November

Hello November,

A few months ago, I am still spending my time in Campus, doing my paperwork. My research for PSM. Getting stress. Now it is November. Hello November then. Time passing by so fast. I should admit it.

Over a year ago, I had my blog. But then I deleted it. Because that was my past life. I think I had a new life now. A life where I realized I actually had too many blessings in my life. The life where I want to learn on how to complaint less and to appreciate more.

I am changing not because I had a perfect life recently. No. I am never be perfect. My life ain't Perfect too. But, I just want to be grateful for things that I never wish, but I get. A little miracle sent from heaven maybe?
I am not changing actually. For some reasons, maybe, I am sure I am just getting matured.

On this 11th Month of year 2013, I am not hoping a better luck for myself. I just wish,me,myself, could do something good for my life that is beneficial for me and my loving people near me. God bless.

Regards,
Diana Erika Phillip