Nobody said It was easy

Because sometimes you can't force things to happen based on what you want.

Sometimes you just gotta follow the flow. 

In the end, you will realize, nothing last forever. 

If somebody thought that it is okay to Giving up on you, never force them to try one more time.

Because it will never be the same. 

You just gotta accept it. 

And letting go things. 

What If I don't be someone the society told me to be?

What if I choose the wrong path in my life?

When I was younger, I live within a society in which people will decide on how to mould someone to be a perfect human being.
You have to be educated, have moral value, doing good deeds, going to Church and admitting your sin, marrying a loyal man, have kids and live together with your spouse till the day death separate both of you away.

I did follow 80% of the 'perfect life' rules but then I get bored.
Following the man-made rules didn't make me a happy person. Like seriously.
I feel happy when doing things that against the law. But I never killed people. :)

I have too many perception about life and how to live. People told me to have secured job, saving money for the old day. Instead, I save money for the rainy day.

People will tell me, I will be regretting my life because I choose freedom than happiness.
But nobody ask me what is the definition of happiness for me.

When I told them, "I don't believe I will stuck in this kind of life forever," they laughed.
" I believe that one day I will leave this place and continue living my live somewhere else based on my own rule about how to live,"
They told me I will do a big mistake and will regret.

Do you really think so?

If I choose the wrong path and live miserably. Do you think I will regret? Not really. Nothing last forever. Someday it will gone. Someday I will die. 
Someday I will die. 

Regards,
Diana

Every Woman's Dream

Many days passed, I don't really knew either I wasted it or living my best for it. Too many things happened recently. I know everything happened for reasons. And I am on my way to reveal it. :)

Things are not meant to be hide forever. If you have something to achieve, try to achieve it sincerely. I've too many lesson to be learnt in just a few days. I am lack of sleeping because I think too much. I stopped talking with my family because I am afraid they will ask about me.

I am afraid of what will happened to me in the future. I have too many dreams to achieve. But with my current life-style, I don't even knew how to start.

I wanted to have a normal life. When I was young, I always imagining myself having a good career. Becoming the best I can be. I am a good student during campus life. I never failed to get good results in any exam. I might be blessed to be clever. I find job almost easily because of God's bless and maybe also due to strong educational background I get when I was younger..

I grew up believing in God's Will and God's Wrath. I am always afraid of  karma. I avoid sin most of the time even with the fact I am not a religious person. I just believe in doing good deeds. To other, to myself and also to my family.
However, nobody is perfect. And so do I. *sighed

I almost lost my dream to have a grand wedding, attend by my relatives and friends. Marrying to a right man which is belong to me 100% and can accept me for what and who I am. In which, I shall devoted 100% of myself also for him, during the good and hard times (as mention in the bible). Having a comfortable house, cute babies... and grow old together.
I still hope I can have it. Maybe I just need time to reminisce back myself and get back to the track.
Oh dear God... I am praying for my heart salvation.

Slowly but surely, I will get back on my track. I just need time and the right person to bring myself to where I shall belong to.
Don't tell me it's hard to move on.
Somebody told me, If I sincerely have the will and courage to move on, God will make a way for me.

Still counting the day to start the day where I can be happier than today,
God bless.
Diana

The day I promise myself to...

After keep on being in constant dilemma about life...
I promised to myself that I will give up on everything that I've planned about my life and future.

This time, I am giving up.

I will just go on with life.

I just wanted to be happy.

That's all.

Life Goes On. Move On.

Recently, I realized that I am being so denial. I am in the state of delusional. I've been struggling and thinking too much.

I am in the middle of new life path. I am struggling to find another career path for me. In which, I guess I have failed it. There are times when I almost nailed it. I am very sure that I can have it. But in the end, everything remain silence. I am putting myself in a risky relationship that I am struggling to keep. And go on. But at the same time, I have the thought that I have to start reminiscing back about it.

I am a paranoid.

But how If I am actually not and everything that I am afraid to be happen, will happened sooner?

Girls Day Out #1 Weird

After working, It's been so rare for me to spend my time with friends. :)

But not on 10th May 2015. After too much of postpone and pending date, I decided to make it on 10th May 2015. Here's my girls. 

Getting gorgeous and yeah. 

We are still the crazy bitch as befor. 

Actually, there are only 3 of us but nevermind the drinks

Me, Honeylet and Sabby

Outrages Sabby

We tried the Japanes photobooth for RM13 and
we cannot believe we really transform into something.
Pretty yet weird.

Typical Toilet Pose

Books Bought

My babes.



Soon, we will meet again in the next chapter of Weird girls day out.
we shall grow old together BFF.
I don't want to be alone at the older ages.


LOVE,
Diana

The day I started to recall back and re-counting my blessings

Sometimes I think I have being so immature for thinking too much about other's opinion about me and get upset. :/

I'm getting upset over small things in which whenever I recall back about it, I felt regretted.

When I was still in my campus, my life was so limited that I cannot get everything that I want. I always wish that I will finished 4 years course faster because I  want to get job as soon as possible. I promised to myself that anything can be, as long as I can afford myself and helping my family a bit.

Then, in no time after I grad, God grant my wishes and I got job even before I was officially graduated. Because there's a god's word mentioned in the holy bible, "ask and thou shall be given". Ask and you will be given.

But what happened next, I started to complaint. I started to think that things happened not based on what I wanted. Then I started to feel down and giving up.

Fortunately, I am somekind of person who doesn't like to take action based on emotion except when I was sure that I can handle the consequences. I tried to calm down and recalled back everything that made me in this situation, at the first place.

So, whenever I started to give up, I tend to remind myself about what I already promised to myself before this.

By the end of the day, all I did is to calm down and start counting every blessings that I have.

God bless.

Regards,
Diana